watch tv late at night. keep closing each show until you find one where every single character has something really very wrong with them. go to sleep when some but not all of them have died.
wake up over and over. finally get out of bed not to begin your day but to try to stop the tired feeling which has transformed over time into a sort of nausea.
read twitter threads about people who do worse and worse drugs until they're homeless and alone. read reddit threads about people who don't even need the drugs.
lie down and think about the awful way the blood swirls up into the syringes. sometimes you're pretty sure you have aphantasia but right at the moment you definitely don't. hold onto a pillow. wonder why you do this to yourself.
drink a cup of coffee. as you drink, spend the time thinking about whether or not you should microwave the coffee until you eventually realize you don't have a microwave.
crochet a single row of a beanie. stop because it doesn't look how it's supposed to and you don't know why.
eat a sandwich. flip the included rubber band over and over. place it in a circle centered perfectly around a breadcrumb on the table.
lie back down. sit by the window and feel the backs of your hands. try not to dig your fingernails into them. move to somewhere with more windows. more sunlight is always better.
listen to the same songs you listened to yesterday. appreciate the quiet.