today i was trying to make him [[like me]].i should one day write a complete guide. //a manual to experiencing reality as casey: notes on reacting to the various stimuli of life, actions and emotions to avoid at all costs//. instead i wrote a short treatise, a way to become casey for just a brief moment, just once. the target hadn’t been chosen well, hadn’t been chosen at all.
some people could almost be casey, are just a few bad moves and a couple still moments away. [[some]] are worlds apart, beings so fundamentally divorced from caseyhood it astounds me.and yet everyone acts in almost the same way, doing almost all the same things. im surprised not by how different we are but by how we are all the same. sometimes im surprised that i'm myself at all, given how i act. the difference only comes out in fleeting moments, in the tiny expressions of self that allude to worlds of difference.
Even if he accepted my tutelage, he could never be casey. he was missing a few essential ingredients, or perhaps was endowed with a few too many extras.
but he needed to become [[someone]], and urgently. not casey.
but perhaps a good person would suffice.